Monday, May 18, 2009

My Bachelorette Recap: Or, I have nothing else to write about, So, I have begun taking notes and reporting on The Bachelorette.

A quick run to the grocery for baby formula and Diet Coke - and a quick run because The Bachelorette was coming on at nine and I needed to get back to see it live. I dashed upstairs, threw on my PJs and settled down with my notebook and pen. "Whatcha writing?" Joe asked as the intro started. "Notes," I said.

Yes. Notes on the show. Because it's important and I'm gonna blog about it. I got an eye roll and a chuckle and an approving nod. As I've said before, he's very supportive of my creative endeavors. Both big and small.

My first impression (which I quickly twittered during a commerical break) was, bleh. No one really stood out for me as "amazing". But we all know that I already got him. Right, Mom?

My show notes became a list of men and occupation which quickly became decorated with stars next to the good ones and x's next to the bad ones. Or small notes like "nerd" "dork" "fake". What's the difference between nerd and dork? I don't know. Did you know that I used to be a middle school teacher? That may help you understand me a little better.

The highlights came mid show as each man was trying to have their personal time with Ms. Beautiful. Joe and I both cracked up as Jesse The Wine Maker chatted with Ms. Thang and another guy made a mockery of him "I am Jesse, I got da vinyaad." That cracked us UP! So much so that as Joe was staring into the pantry to find his snack he kept repeating it, as I giggled from my note-taking chair.

And so the show dragged on to the end... the much awaited rose ceremony.

And I predicted it... She picked Jake. And Jesse. And Wes.

And Stephen the lawyer was shaking his head in mockery as Wes was chosen. Which turned my attention to Stephen's reactions for the rest of the rose ceremony.

And of course she then chose the breakdancer guy? WHAT? What happened to looking for the well-rounded man? Oh, I keep forgetting that she's not my sister- she's not hearing my advice as I am thinking it. Sucks for her.

Thank goodness she chose Simon, I bet it was that lovely tea his mamma sent. And Stephen the lawyer continued to make nasty faces.

And she chose cool hair Mike... And beaky Brian...And Sasha, alas, someone else that I chose for her... Julian, though? Come on Jillian and Julian just sounds funny.

John P was a cutie and had a good job. I would have traded him for the breakdancer guy. I didn't like seeing him go.

And because Stephen the nerdy Lawyer drew so much attention to himself with his reactions, I of course was just tickled by his ending comments, er, excuses. "Maybe she's a little more country and I'm a little more city"... yeah, Newsflash Walter Cronkite... you arent!.... er, maybe she likes cool and you're just a little too nerdy. And your faces were so awful during the entire rose ceremony even if you were TO get a rose, I would have changed my mind and chosen ANYONE but you.

So, out of all of them I like Jesse The Wine Maker. And Sasha the Oil/Gas Consultant. And Jake The Pilot. Because as I said before if she's planning to marry, she's gotta look at the whole package deal.

And what were those previews about some of those men having girlfriends? We'll have to see next week. But once I find out who those guys are they will be blacklisted too. And I'm hoping that girl is smart enough to do it. (At this point I'm thinking maybe she SHOULD have chosen Stephen (the disgruntled) Lawyer. We all know he doesn't already have a girlfriend.)

I just like seeing those grown men cry. Because it helps me understand what my husband's life must be like.

Here's to next week! Oh, the drama...


Christina said...

Hahaha hilarious! I love Jake I am voting for him!!!

Kacie said...

Oookay, looks like I'm going to have to subscribe to you to join in on the Bachelorette fun. And I might have to blog about it myself, but that means first getting past my shame that I actually watch the show.... :)

I like the pilot best. And Kiptyn, so far at least. We shall see! I like watching the boys compete much more then the women. The women make me sick - so catty. Somehow the thick competetive sarcasm is so much more interesting when it's guys.