Monday, June 01, 2009

Bittersweet


Photos by: Jessica Chapman


I spent a half day at school today - away from the kids - cleaning out my classroom and packing up my personal belongings. The school that I have called "my school" - that I have taught at since I started teaching is closing. I have been reassigned to a "new school", and even though I have applied for and have been granted family medical leave for another year, it was bittersweet packing up my things today. I pulled books out of stacks to show my sister with excitement. Truly I've missed being in this element.

I have completely enjoyed spending the last year with my kids and I am blessed to be able to do it for another year at least. It was with bittersweet joy that I signed off on the paper at my new school today that confirmed "yes, I will be out another year". And I spent the day in silent prayer with God questioning if I had made the right choice. Another year? Is that the right thing?

Later that evening, as Camden and I pulled out of the driveway to do an errand, just the two of us... he called my name.

"Mommy?"

I pressed my foot lightly on the brake and turned to him.

"Yes, hon?," I said.

"I missed you today. So much."

I paused. Unable to utter a word, struck by this confirmation from my three year old son. The expression on his face as he uttered those few words will forever be branded on my heart.

"I missed you too, baby." I managed to get out.

And as I turned my head back to the road, my eyes misty with awe, I knew. I knew I had made the right decision.

And I'm happy that it was confirmed.

2 comments:

Maria said...

I love how God spoke to your concerns and validated that you made the right choice. Enjoy the next year. I know you make the most of every day with your children.

I hope you got some rest and are feeling a bit better.

Erin said...

love.

sometimes kids just seem to have the uncanny ability to say just what you need to hear at the exact right time.

of course, same kid (of mine at least) also has the uncanny ability to upheave a huge jug of chocolate milk all over the floor just as we're rushing out the door, too.

but yeah, that's adorable.